Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Day Gainax Stole Christmas (Or, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt pt. 2)

WARNING: The following post contains spoilers for Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt!

Every Ot/a/ku on 4chan liked Christmas a lot.
But Gainax, who lived over in Japan, did not!

Gainax hated Christmas! The whole Winter Line-up Season!
Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that their heads aren't screwed on quite right,
It could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason
Was that everyone thinks that Gainax can't properly end a season!

But whatever the reason, be it their endings or their shoes,
They sat there on Christmas Eve, hating the Ot/a/kus.
Staring into their computer screens with their asian faces deplored,
At the warm-hearted threads on 4chan's anime board.
For every Ot/a/ku at 4chan on the net,
Was busy now, posting a thread about the final episode of Panty and Stocking to make their bet.

"And they're loving Miss Stocking!" They snarled with a sneer.
"Today is the finale! It's already here!"
Then they growled, with their Asian fingers nervously drumming,
"We MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For tomorrow, they knew that all the anonymous guys and gals
Would be posting about how the episode was the best one ever to their pals!
And then! All the flame wars! The Haters! The Fans!
That's the one thing they hated! All of those stupid Fans! FANS! FANS!

Then the mods, young and old, would make a sticky.
And the posters would cheer! How disgustingly ICKY!
They would start on Panty and Brief! And how Stocking was a slut!
And Gainax couldn't stand how they loved Chuck the mutt!

And THEN they'd do something Gainax couldn't stand!
The tripfags and Anonymous would get the drawfags together; hand-in-hand!
They'd whip out their tablets, their scanners and pencils with Christmas bells ringing,
And they'd all collaborate on fanart, some of them even singing!

They'd draw and they'd sing! Draw and sing!
DRAW! SING! DRAW! SING!
And the more Gainax thought of the Internet-Art-And-Sing,
The more Gainax thought "We must stop this whole thing!"
"Why for who knows how many years we've put up with this now?!
We MUST stop Christmas from coming! But...HOW?"

Then they got an idea!
An awful idea!
Gaianx got a WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"We know just what we'll do!" Gainax laughed from their throats.
"We'll ruin the ending of Panty and Stocking! That'll sink their boats!
We'll make the episode as planned, but right at it's end...
Stocking will cut Panty into pieces! 666 Pieces that Brief will have to mend!"

"And if that's not enough, we'll bring back Corset too.
We'll troll them so hard - they won't know what to do!"

And that's exactly what they did. Minutes after Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt episode 13 was released, 4chan's Anime & Manga board EXPLODED with replies. Not many of them were too great. Here, take a look:
Yeah, it wasn't pretty.

Long story short, Gainax trolled the HELL out of everyone who watched episode thirteen during literally the last two minutes of the episode - Bringing back the BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy), revealing that Stocking was in fact evil, cutting Panty into tiny pieces, and telling Brief that he must collect all 666 pieces of Panty, travel to the neighboring city, and repeat what transpired in the previous 21 minutes of the episode ALL OVER AGAIN in order to get her back.
The episode ends with the rest of the cast (Demon sisters included) staring in shock, and Garterbelt telling Brief and Chuck to venture forth.I feel that's an accurate depiction. Oh well, I suppose on the bright side we might get a second season (that is, if Gainax wasn't joking about that too). If not, that'll be yet another anime that Gainax can put under their 'Gainax Ending' cliche belt.
I'd like to say that we at 'That's Your Problem!' hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and hell, even a Krazy Kwanzaa! (Lol Kwanzaa)

-Arlon The Enigma

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